Monday, October 25, 2010

Summer is the new winter.

First off, I need to thank all of you for taking the time to comment in the Great Comment Debate 2010. Your insight and opinions were incredibly helpful, and I really appreciated how much time you all put into your comments. My neurosis has quieted, at least for a little while. 

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This post is inspired by a post/comment I left on a post by Lacie over at Tickets for Two. If you aren't reading Lacie yet (and I'm pretty sure you all are because she's fabulous), you need to. She's a great writer, a great blogger (yes, those two are different), and a flight attendant. Which means she and her husband Isaac have one of those jetsetting lifestyles we all SAY we're going to have, but never do. So we watch Lacie's blog hungrily. And jealously. So check her out. And don't tell her about my slavish, zombie-like adoration, kay?


Fall is the new summer. Winter is my new fall. Summer is the new winter. And I really haven't thought out the whole "spring" thing. Spring is me impatiently sitting on my bathing suit. Spring is like the doctor's office waiting room where all the magazines are AutoWorld or Parenting. I'll read Parenting. Nothing against Parenting. But I am NOT their targeted demographic.
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Let's discuss.

I am a Pennsylvania native.

Remix.

I am an extremely rural Pennsylvania native. When people ask me where I'm from, I say Pennsyltucky. It's a step up from Pennsylbama, people. And I've been to Pennsylbama.
The backyard

I'm a short jaunt from Amish country. My neighbors are farmers. I grew up playing in the woods barefoot. Which explains why when you put me into a society party, I turn into an awkward ball of elbows. This explains why girls and I usually don't get along. I don't speak the normal language. Unless those girls are equally quirky, but not in the "I'm a cool hipster" way, but more in the "I'm a starving actress" or the "I'm a taxidermist" way.


For Halloween one year, I was a horse. Yes. My mother tried to talk me out of it. But she ended up sewing the greatest brown felt gigantic horse costume the world has ever known. I had eyes. A yarn mane. A giant pink satin tongue (leftover fabric from my princess costume) lolling out of my gigantic mouth. Looking back, I'm pretty sure she based the head for the costume off of the horse-in-bed scene in The Godfather.

Kids were infinitely less cruel in Pennsyltucky, but putting a horse costume on parade in front of them was like offering a T-bone to a starving dog.

But one of the best things about living in Pennsyltucky was the seasons. Summer was splashing around in the creek in my backyard, carving things out of the clay on the banks. Summer was my neighbor's pool and grilling fresh-caught fish.

Autumn was Halloween, jean jackets, school shopping (the only time I went clothes shopping all year, so it was like NewChristmas), pot roast, leaf art projects. It meant the mountains changed colors. It meant that Thanksgiving was coming, and with Thanksgiving, my mom's famous to-die-for better-than-pure-cocaine-and-vodka-too apple pie. I'm pretty sure the gods dine on nothing but my mom's apple pies. They just lounge around, send out a massive flood or two, and cram their divine mouths full of  warm cinnamon crusted apple goodness.

Winter? Christmas. Snow days. Snowmen. Gigantic snow forts. Snow milkshakes. Beef stew. I'll say it again: SNOW DAYS.

Spring? Again, spring just conjures up a whole lotta anticipation. Waiting for warmer temperatures. Waiting for school to be done. Waiting for the leaves to come back.

But I couldn't spend the rest of my life in the Pennsyltucky Bermuda Triangle (it sucks you in and you can never leave), so I migrated on down to coastal Virginia. Here? We have seasons, alright. Summer is when everyday is 100 degrees and I can't go outside for fear of dying of heat exhaustion. Do you know how I spent July? Inside, doing puzzles. I WAS A SHUT-IN. Hence, summer=winter.

Beaching in October

Autumns here are perfect. The leaves still change, but I can finally go outside without my face melting off, Indiana Jones style. It's a week from Halloween and I'm still wearing shorts, t-shirts, and flip-flops. I still go to the beach, except now I'm actually allowed to bring the dogs and let 'em swim because I'm the only crazy out on the beach in October. I'm doing all the things I wanted to do in summer: camp, hike, play tennis, WALK MY DOG WITHOUT WANTING TO COLLAPSE FROM HEAT EXHAUSTION.



So I want to know--what are seasons like in your neck of the woods? Are you judging me because I can't handle the VA heat (you're allowed, I'm a self-admitted heat pansy)? Are you one of the Southern Cali kids who doesn't HAVE seasons? Do you want to buy a slice of my mom's apple pie? 20.99, does not include shipping and handling, sorry, no C.O.D.s.

Kidding. I'd give it to you guys for free.

14 comments:

  1. i'm a native new yorker, from long island. i now live in central florida, which is horrifying. i mean, i loooove being able to go to disney whenever i want to. and i don't REALLY miss all the ice and snow. but i do, kind of.

    we seem to have three seasons: springlike summer (winter to most people), wet, hot summer (spring-summer for most people), and hot as fucking balls summer (summer/fall mix). it is almost november and it's going to be NINETY degrees outside.

    i fucking hate the heat. i really do. which is one of the many reasons we're moving back to new york. fall - PROPER fall - is my favorite season, and it's horrible here. i miss fall.

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  2. I have two necks. This whole post describes the one, as you know. The other one is on its own weather system. It has two seasons: Summer and Snow. During my college years, we could expect snow anytime between October and April. We actually had 3 snow days in April once.

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  3. As much as I hate the freezing cold and mountains of snow we get here in Minnesota I could never live somewhere that doesn't have all four seasons. Visiting Hawaii is very nice. Living there would be boring as hell.

    SD
    simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com

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  4. Well, I live in Utah and here we have 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Hotter Than Hell, and Construction.

    Almost Winter is pretty much what most people would refer to as "Fall" and it's my personal favorite. However, it NEVER lasts long enough for my tastes.

    Winter here is also called "Ski Season", for obvious reasons. It includes snow, sleet, and slippery roads which make our TERRIBLE drivers even worse than usual. (Seriously, Utah drivers SUCK! If you ever have to drive through here, watch your back.)

    Hotter Than Hell is what other people would call Summer, only it's worse. I'm a heat sissy too, and as I have a problem with the idea of baking alive, I am indoors and out of the heat as soon as the temperature threatens to go above 80 degrees.

    Construction is an interesting season, as it's pretty much going on throughout the entire year. I swear our state flag is a "Road Construction" sign and our state tree is the orange barrel.

    However, you need to take Utah's seasons with a grain of salt as we've had snow in June, and 75 degree weather in December. Weather in Utah also changes unexpectedly. We have days where the heater is on for half the day and then we have to switch over to air conditioning, and then back to the heater. Our motto is: "If you don't like the weather here, just wait 5 minutes."

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  5. I'm glad you explained why you get along with boys so well. I will try not to girl-snub you anymore.

    And. .. I grew up in Chicagoland (I have to say Chicagoland because if I say Chicago some asshat will say where in Chicago & when I say Naperville, asshat will get all condescending and say Oh. The suburbs.)

    Now I live in Corpus Christi. And my kids are able to play outside for the first time since March.

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  6. I live in northern West Virginia. Seasons here are pretty much the same as yours! I absolutely hate the heat, but I lived in Georgia for years where Thanksgiving was swim suit weather, so I really can't complain. I love the snow, but I hate driving in it and Spring and Fall are my absolute favorite seasons. Spring more than fall, but love them both.

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  7. these pictures are fantastic!!!I love this blog!
    my name's martina and I come from Italy...I would like you visit my fashion blog and if you like it...follow me!I wait you and your tips!kiss kiss ;D

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  8. Southern California weather can get really boring. It's either sunny, or coastal breezy, or overcast. It get soooooo boring.

    I love the winter time because it's cold, you get to bundle up and it rains...normally...Supposedly it's raining where my parents are coming home from right now and it's bloody hot. Well it was at 9 in the morning!

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  9. My seasons were and are much like yours, as I also grew up in Pennsyltucky. But mine started back in Olden Times, before the Sun discovered nuclear fusion and was still lit by candles.

    Summer, Fall, and Winter were spent outside, usually in the woods, which my brothers and I knew as well as our own house. Streams and foot paths were the roads to our adventures. A ship's bell, which hung outside our back door, was the clanging call for us to return home, and we could hear it at least two miles away on a windless day.

    We had a mud room that was actually used year round to change clothes in, because we never came home clean. If my mother needed us to be clean for something, she simply didn't let us outside in the hours preceding whatever clean event it was.

    Snowmen, snow forts, igloos (our neighbor could make BIG igloos), skating on ponds in Winter, that was the good stuff. Autumn was all about Halloween and football for us.

    Sometime during my twenties, the seasons disappeared for a while. It may have had something to do with living in Alabama and Georgia, but mostly, it had to do with not being a kid anymore. I rediscovered seasons with each of my own sons, over the past twenty years though, and it has been a re-experience of life. Thanks for sharing your seasons with us, and the great photos as well.

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  10. Ha! Thank you for the props. That means a lot since I LOVE this blog. But, mutual appreciation aside, I'd like to take you up on this pie. For real. We're kind of neighbors. Do the right thing.

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  11. also, nicki, you have a blog award waiting for you at my place!!

    http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-award.html

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  12. I'm a New Yorker but originally I'm from the Caribbean island known as Dominican Republic. Being that it's a Caribbean island, D.R. (as it's known to dominicans lol) is always hot. December is no different from July...at most a few degrees lower. AND I LOVE IT.

    New York though is very different, and it's changed. I moved here as a kid and from what I can remember, summer was summer, winter was winter..and so on.

    This has changed recently though. When I was a kid I would complain about the shortness of summer (my dominican blood can't stand the cold haha) but now, it seems that summer has been extended somewhat. Now, instead of summer ending in mid-September, it ends in October (just a couple of days ago we had a 87 degree day!). During the winter we get 2 or 3 snowstorms. Can't really say much about spring (can anyone really?) and Fall...how can I describe this one?

    I take fall as "mother nature's menopause". One day we're in 87 degree weather and, I kid you not, within a span of 24 hours the weather drops to 52 degrees. So the traditional fall doesn't exist here anymore.

    That's life in the Big Apple for ya lol

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  13. First and foremost, I love that because I am a starving artist, that means clearly, I am way cooler than everyone else, and you are more comfortable being my bestie. Even though I know that's not really true. Starving artists are never regalled for being cool, but I can dream, can't I?!?

    lol.

    Anywho, my dearest and bestest friend lives in Hampton, VA, and I'm not sure who close that is to you, but I know she loves it-- I think. lol. I've been there once before, and me being from San Fransisco, CA I wasn't a huge fan. I did like being away from the city, but I couldn't be away long. I'm like a moth attracted to the lights, and I can only be in the dark for so long before I go crazy.

    Did that metaphor make sense? no. but that's ok. cause i had fun creating it! :)

    I am jealous you grew up with snow days and delicious apple pies. want to know what i grew up with? lock downs because crazy people would be roaming our campus. seriously. i'll take a snow day any day. :)

    ReplyDelete
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