Monday, November 1, 2010

Dear Neighborhood Children,

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A FLESH-EATING ZOMBIE PIRATE WHO IS TAKING THE NIGHT OFF FROM BRAIN-EATING AND SWASHBUCKLING IN ORDER TO HAND OUT THIS COSTCO-SIZED BOX OF FULL-SIZED CANDY BARS WHEN NOT A SINGLE TRICK-OR-TREATER SHOWS UP??

Kisses,
Nicki

P.S. I don't even like candy.

P.P.S. If you still want to show up in your little Spiderman and Little Mermaid costumes I will still give you candy.

P.P.P.S. No, seriously, you guys. I have a whole box. It's good candy, too. Twix, Milky Way, Snickers. It's not like Necco Wafers or something.

P.P.P.P.S. I am 90% sure Hurricane Earl is behind this.

8 comments:

  1. wow that must suck, I was actually worried that someone would start knocking at my door and I didn't buy candy but nobody showed up at my place either...

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  2. That's too bad. I wonder why more kids aren't trick-or-treating these days.

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  3. Yeah barren over here too. The candy bowl barely got dented. I would have been on candy duty but I went and saw a movie instead.

    Maybe people think they can't afford the costumes?

    http://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/

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  4. ZOMG SEND YOUR CANDIES HERE. we had like ten kids. so i have a bowl of mini kit kats and hershey bars to go straight to my ass.

    ALSO. necco wafers are yummy.

    ALSO ALSO. seriously. send the twix bars.

    http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com

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  5. I second those TWIX bars...send one over to CA if you like.

    I, on the other hand, had kids-a-knockin' on my wee door til all hours of the night. so i have no leftovers to trouble myself with. sigh.

    we were also one of those good houses that gave full-sized bars out. i only give what i would have wanted to receive as a kid. no lame candy here, no sir.so when kids got wind of "the cool house," it was all over for us then.

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  6. Wait -- you don't like candy? I thought we were friends.

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  7. I didn't have any trick or treaters either :( I too have spare candy children. Please, come trick or treat at my house!

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  8. Parents are inexplicably paranoid these days about their kids taking candy from zombie pirates. Seems ridiculous to me.

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