Let's not talk about Halloween this year, shall we?
Let's face it: for most of the East Coast, Halloween was a (literal) washout. We got lucky here in Bostonland, but we were so busy stocking up on tequila and freezing copious amounts of ice that there was really no time to buy candy for the neighborhood whippersnappers. Add that to the fact that we typically don't get home on a weeknight until 7:30 p.m. and it became clear: this year, trick-or-treat just wasn't in the cards for us.
Pity, too. Little known fact: Derrick and I LOVE Halloween. Derrick's love of the holiday mainly stems from his burning love of both candy and scaring the bejeezus out of neighborhood children, while mine was long-steeped in a family with more Halloween decorations than Christmas ones. But that's another post for another day, when I'm not so utterly depressed at our lack of Halloweenliness this year.
There were no zombie movies featuring horribly racist black-and-white romps through 1930's Haiti. There were no zombie movies, period. We did halfheartedly squeeze in a few Mystery Science Theatre horror movies a few weeks ago, but when is it not the season for MST3K? It hardly counted.
There was no Halloween-themed food. There was no candy. There were no costumes, no themed cocktails, no parties (hahahaha like I ever go to parties), no trick-or-treaters, no playing of Pandora Halloween stations, no use of the word 'spooktacular.'
I didn't even hear Monster Mash. And I LOVE me some Monster Mash.
It was a tragedy, my friends.
So this year, I'm pretending it never existed. Halloween took a holiday. It will be back full-force next year. But this year? Nope. Nuh-uh. Never happened.
So let's gallop aboard my time machine (gallop? what is my time machine shaped like, a dude ranch?) and return to a happier time: my first Halloween in Boston, circa 2011.
|Beautiful, beautiful zombie geisha|
|What trick-or-treaters were greeted with last year...sob.|